Yesterday began with a couple of blissful quiet hours to myself, where I was able to focus and write with some gorgeous summer morning air flowing in the windows.
But I had to wake up at 7:30 on a Sunday morning to get them.
This weekend was the Air and Water show in Chicago, and while that may be a fine time for many, to me it is a nightmare of noise. Add to this a summer street festival two blocks away with the stage aimed at my apartment on the third floor, and what you get is nearly twelve straight hours of nonstop aural assault.
I ended up giving up at 9:30 p.m. and crawling into bed with earplugs in my ears.
Lest this all sound like complaint, or like I am twice my age and crankier than I really am, what it all has revealed to me is that I am changing. I am learning to appreciate the morning, and I am finding that my mind has this strange clarity that I never really knew before, in the early morning hours.
I am learning to appreciate the quiet of the day before the day.
Who knew. Not long ago, I was a night owl and would've been extremely surly at the mere suggestion of waking up at 5 a.m. Had I clung to the ideas of myself that defined me before, I might not have learned this new thing. I might still be in bed.
This morning I was given the treat of a gorgeous sunrise. I would have missed it.
Perhaps it is significant to pay attention to one's evolution. In the world that most of us live in, every day is a blast from Point A to Point B with a lot of flashing lights and noise and very little reflection. Without reflection, so much is lost. And without a little solitude, reflection is difficult at best. And while I have always cherished my solitude, I'm not sure that until now I realized how valuable it is. And how much I need it.
Goethe is credited for saying, “Use the day before the day. Early morning hours have gold in their mouth." This quote has been hanging with me for a couple of years and I find it is more and more true. If that is where the poetry is, I will rise before the dawn to find it. Or at least make the vow to do so, with every good intention.
